Iron Pants

Some years ago I was out-and-about performing my job on a bright and beautiful Spring day. I was doing what we call, 'DNP's.' A 'DNP' is a 'disconnect-for-nonpay.' I never thought when I filled out the application to become a 'Cable Guy' that I would also become a 'collection-agent.'

On this particular occasion I pulled in front of the house and the gentleman was outside in the driveway washing his pickup truck. He saw me park in front of his home and was surprised to see me walking up his driveway. We do not provide a warning other than a microscopic red line on your bill that reads, 'Your payment is delinquent. You are account may be subject to termination.'

As I approached he asked if he could help me. I said, 'Sir, I am sorry to say today that have me playing the evil Cable guy. I have an order to collect a balance-due or terminate the service.' That is my standard line. I always treat people with honesty, courtesy and respect.

He motioned for me to follow him into the house, stated he would right me a check. As I followed I told him there was a note on my order that said I was not to accept a check from him. He told me the bank had made a mistake as we walked past a Lion's Club 'Man-of-the-Year' plaque that was hanging on a wall. He was clearly not a 'bad check writer.' I advised him that he was going to have to call our office. I gave him the number and he called.

Our office manager, at that time was NOT a nice woman. Not only was she disliked within the office; I often heard complaints from our customers, too.

I stood patiently in his kitchen as he discussed the matter. I could hear the frustration in his voice. I knew who he was talking to as I heard him ask, 'and what's your name, anyway, Ms. Nasty? I quietly smiled to myself. He was conversing with our office manager. He continued with the conversation and then hung up.

I looked at him and said, 'Sir, if it makes you feel any better do you want to know what we call her?' He asked, 'What's that?'

I said, 'We call her 'Iron Pants.' He laughed and then told me his instructions. He was to call the bank, get them to fax a letter over to our office stating that there had, indeed, been a mistake in the accounts and then I could take a check. I told him I had the time and to do what he had to do. He called the bank, got through their phone system to whom he needed to speak. He provided all the instructions and then for some reason handed the phone to me. I took the phone and said, 'Ma'am, I have heard enough about this situation. If you could just please fax the letter over to our office I would be happy to accept a check from the gentleman.'

She asked, 'To whom should I direct the fax?'
I responded, 'To Rosalie,' I winked at the gentleman and joked, 'but we call her 'Iron Pants.''
She said, 'Okay, thanks.' and I hung up the phone and accepted the check from the gentleman.

End of story, right?

WRONG

That was on a Tuesday. That Friday I got called into the upstairs office of my boss with the local manager in attendance. That is never a good thing. They proceeded to ask me about that particular job and what I remembered about it. I recounted the whole thing, absent any mention of 'Iron Pants.' They listened and then asked, 'How do you explain this?'

They whipped out a fax cover sheet. It was from the bank to our office. It was directed to: 'Rosalie Iron Pants.' It was printed in the handwriting of the woman at the bank. I smiled, looked up at the manager and said, 'Am I allowed to laugh about this?'

He looked at me sternly and relpied, 'I might be laughing about this five minutes after I drive off the parking lot tonight but right now we have a serious situation on our hands.' I was like, 'Huh?' lol

He said Rosalie was so incensed at the fax that she called the bank and demanded they take disciplinary actions against the woman at the bank. They then showed me the letter of apology the woman was compelled to send. She mentioned in the letter that she thought it was as 'inside joke.' My first thought was, 'Yeah, it was an 'inside joke' that was supposed to stay 'INSIDE!' lol

The manager and the boss handed me a 'write-up' memo. I was guilty of 'using derogatory language to refer to another employee.' I laughed as I signed the memo. I asked them, 'You know why this is funny? Her reaction only proves that what I said was true.'

It is funny, too, as that was the 'lightest' of terms used to describe her.

Just another day as the Cable guy.

Hope everyone's warm.

Have a good night.