Yesterday and Today

The picture above is my mom on 'my' island beach last Spring. It was 'Cinco de Mayo,' to be exact.

That place is in the far right distant foreground in the picture of my mom leaning against my car on a windy hilltop overlooking the river as seen below. The following pictures were taken today.







As I have spent more time observing and evaluating my mom the past few days it’s been interesting for me to talk to her. She remembers things from 60 years ago; yet her ‘here-and-now’ is gone.

I took her to the doctor yesterday. It had been almost a year-to-the-day since she had been in to see him. I took care of all the paperwork and guided her back to the examining room. This was a new experience for me as I had never taken her, or anyone other than me, to the doctor before. I know she really likes her doctor; my first meeting with him.

He made sure I knew he was not a board-certified geriontologist; yet most of his patients ‘qualified.’ He is very good; I liked him, too. He handled things very well. He made sure I knew things that she clearly didn’t understand. At one point he asked her if it was okay for me to respond to the same questions he would be asking her. She said, ‘Of course, he’s a good guy.’

He asked a few questions. She would nod yes, as I would shake my head, no. She told him she hated to come back in there and take up their time as she was doing fine and was never one to complain. He asked her if there was anything she thought was wrong and that she needed help with? She said, ‘No, everything’s working just fine.’ That is when I shed some tears. She happily can’t see what is so wrong. I did my best to hide the tears as she continued to respond to the doctor’s questions.

She needed some blood work and other lab work, too. I was directed to a waiting area as she went through the processes. I sat in a small ‘notch’ off the main waiting area. There were just five or six chairs there in an L-shaped format. A window to the lab area was off on the one side. I sat in a chair facing out towards the main office area, one of two facing that way.

A VERY LARGE gentleman and a small young girl came into the area to sit down. He sat off to my left next to another waiting patient. In light of the small confines of this notch he directed the young girl to sit next to me. The gentleman to his left was called and vacated the seat. She immediately went to his side. We waited for several minutes.

As we waited she told him she needed to go to the bathroom. He told her where it was and told her he might not be back when she was done as he might be called. He wanted to be sure she would be okay. He asked her, ‘You know what to do….’ She stopped him dead-in-his-tracks and said, ‘If anyone touches me I will scream.’ I chuckled and thought is was good she was taught that. She got up and went to the bathroom.

After she was gone I said to the VERY LARGE gentleman that it was ‘funny’ for me to hear that. I told him I was glad someone had taught her. He told me her mom did, and she REALLY could ‘scream.’ He then got called as she was still gone. I told him I would be sure she knew when she came back that he got called. I assured him I would not touch her. He thanked me as he left.
She got back and I told her he had been called. I smiled and then said, ‘and I promise I won’t touch you.’ She laughed as she knew I overheard. I didn’t tell her he warned me of her scream. Mom came back and we left.

Considering local traffic when I drove from the doctor’s office I made a turn in a direction I would not often make; a local short-cut. As I drove down the road I knew I would pass by a farm-lane of a place mom worked at MANY years ago. She had been a ‘private duty’ nurse for the family; caring for their aging matriarch. True to the local culture of this area this was a well-heeled family with deep roots and ‘old money’ in the community. Their family stories that mom told at the time were interesting, indeed.

Mom had probably never driven down that entrance to the property before. She would have had no reason to go ‘that way.’ As soon as I got within sight of the farmhouses; she knew EXACTLY where she was. She said, ‘This is Sarah Anne’s.’ Indeed, it was. Amazing after all these years, and with no concept of the ‘here-and-now;’ she knew exactly where she was.

This morning I went over to her house and told her, C’mon, I am taking you for a ride.’
I took her for a drive down along the river. We had a picnic lunch at the water’s edge and she liked it very much. The pictures above were taken on our travels today.

She loved it. I did, too, as I have to grasp what’s left while I can, too.