Thursday, March 26, 2009

Amish 'Acceptions'

This past week the local newspaper printed two separate articles reporting from two different local townships. The articles told of zoning meetings within these townships related to commercial dog kennels. Lancaster County is 'notorious' for offensive 'puppy-mills;' most of them owned and operated by the Amish. Many of these people have no respect for animals.

Pennsylvania recently enacted a reform of antiquated dog kennel laws. State licensing with local zoning certification is now required of commercial dog breeding kennels. Previously the administration of such matters was only handled on the local level. The reform was long overdue. Some may recall a recent story of two Mennonite farmers operating what was to become an 'illegal' kennel that shot 80 dogs rather than comply with the conditions of the new law. Truly unbelievable.

The paper reported that these township zoning boards were hearing petitions from local residents to license and operate commercial breeding kennels to conform to the new state law. In every case the petitioners admitted operating UN-licensed commercial dog breeding operations in violation of their local ordinances for many years. One was even quoted as saying he couldn't guarantee he would comply with some of the conditions as stated in the new law as on a farm 'you never know what might come up.' The township boards can take up to 45 days to render a decision. In every one of these cases the zoning certification was provided immediately with no deliberation. As I said before, I live in a strange place, indeed.

In Lancaster County there is a double-standard for laws and justice. There is one standard for the 'gentile' 'English' people...you and I; there is another for the 'Plain' people, the Mennonites and the Amish. If a 'transplant' from New Jersey had illegally operated a commercial dog breeding operation in one of these townships FOR MANY YEARS; I would guarantee there would be no immediate approval of the process. They aren't part of the local culture which seems to turn a 'blind-eye' to some things; not others.

Some years ago there was a case reported nationally about two young Amishmen that were distributing cocaine at their social 'ho-downs.' They were arrested and prosecuted through our judicial system. Their 'punishment?' They were given lengthy probation and released back into their communty as prison might constitute 'cruel and unusual punishment.' Excuse me? If you or I was found guilty of the offenses charged to them we would probably still be in the state penitentiary.

A few years ago the state enacted a Uniform Building Code for new structures constructed within the Commonwealth. Makes sense, right? Guess what? The local legislators successfully lobbied hard to get exceptions from the law for the Amish and Mennonites. If you or I would build a house we would have to comply with more restrictions than they do. Again, I don't get it.

The 'Plain' community is also exempted from our state marriage laws. They are allowed by law to marry their first-cousins. The thought would never enter my mind; but they are legally permitted. I don't know if the local tours tell you that. wink

We have 'compulsory' education. You and I are expected to complete such education to a '12th grade level;' for them it's '8th grade.' A 'gifted' Amish child has no choice but to work on the farm or be 'shunned' by their family. How's that for some 'family values?'

If you and I work for an employer we pay Social Security/FICA taxes. They do not. For some reason; they collectively opted out of the system. What do you think would happen if you-or-I tried to 'opt-out' of the system because of our religion; we'd be laughed out of the SS office. Again, I don't get it.

They are exempted from 'child-labor' laws and pay nothing for road maintenance; yet they often hinder traffic. Again, I don't get it.

The only logical conclusion one can draw from these facts is that the local business community profits so much from the curiosity and tourists they draw that 'they' bend the law to accommodate them. I'm not local so, to me, it's just not right. I was brought up by my Air Force pilot father to believe in 'equal protection under law' and the seperation of church-and-state, ya know?

Those things don't seem to apply here.

They seem to be accepted into some higher level of 'justice' because of their religion.

This post was meant in no way to denigrate these people for their beliefs. Each and every one of us are entitled to our own.

It was meant to point out discrepancies in the way different people are treated. Some things kept 'below the surface' that most people may not know.

Welcome to my world.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Bane of Intelligence

It's hard for me to believe that this coming November I will be at this 'gig' as the Cable Guy for twenty years. If I estimate conservatively, I have met 20,000 people during that time. Meeting all those people has certainly taught me a lot about people in general; a lot about myself as well.

Those people that know me best will know what I am about to write is somewhat tongue-in-cheek but also just me telling the truth as I see it. To those that don't know me I hope it doesn't come off as 'arrogant' as it really is not intended that way. I haven't written it yet; we'll have to see where it goes and hope for the best. wink

Some years ago I returned to the office from a pretty typical day out-on-the-road making house-calls in Amishland. I forget exactly what had transpired that day. I parked the van in the garage and walked into the office to return my completed paperwork. I smiled at the woman that takes the paperwork and said, 'Ya know what? After all these years on the job I finally realized something today.' She asked, 'What's that?'

I replied, 'You remember when you were in elementary school and they gave you those standardized tests?' She said, 'Yes.' I went on, 'well, I realized today that when they said back then I was in the 93rd percentile; they were right.' It might have taken me fifteen or more years to figure it out but there are a LOT of dumb people out there. She laughed and was funny as I'm sure she really didn't really know what to say. For me it really was a sort of epiphany as all I ever really strived for was to be 'average;' just like everybody else. Somehow, I was finally convinced; I wasn't.

God bless the women in the office. They are the ones that get hit with whatever's been on my mind during the day as I drive from place-to-place. They are my primary contact with the office; they are the ones that pick up the phone on our office 'hotline.'

One day, some years after realizing that maybe I really was smarter-than-average; I walked into the office at the end of the day and told them my conclusion. I told them I had concluded that intelligence is a 'curse.' They asked, 'What do you mean, it's a 'curse?''

I smiled and said, 'I'll tell you. Intelligence is a 'curse' because dumb people don't know how dumb other people are. To them, they are just 'normal.' Smart people can tell the difference. Hence, it's a curse. It must be nice to go around thinking some of these people are 'okay.'' I told them, 'Think about it.' Of course, I told them this when there were none of our local dumb people around and know what? They knew I was correct. wink

That's the voice of twenty years experience working with the public here in Amishland. I suppose; once again, it's that 'cultural' thing. I live here; I am not 'from' here. Probably one huge reason going to the city is like a 'breath-of-fresh-air' for the guy who lives in the country. Many thanks to my friends.

Hope all's well with everyone. The sun here is feeling better everyday.
I saw my first blooming crocuses today; Spring really is on the way.

Take care. Have fun.



Saturday, March 21, 2009

Cable Codes

I have been loving my job as the Cable guy now for almost twenty years.
I have met a lot of people; the technology has demanded learning; for the most part things have been pretty good.

Every once-in-a-while things happen like they did yesterday. All of our work orders are classified per our software; trouble calls require a 'code' be reported to our dispatch office. We all carry a list of the 'system solution codes' in our work vehicles. When repairing system troubles these numerical codes reflect our corrective actions.

As I am sure with all jobs; being the Cable guy requires understanding certain job-related lingo. The 'tap' is the point at which the 'hard-line' cable is split for distribution to the 'drop' from the 'telephone pole' or the underground pedestal. A 'DNP' is a 'Disconnect for Non-Pay;' also known on the company radio as a '10-5.' We do have to abide by privacy restrictions.

Our 'coded' communication includes one unofficial 'code.' This would be the code, 'I-D-ten-T.' Some people in our office had a hard time grasping the concept; online I guess it is best presented as 'code I-D-10-T.' As evidenced by last night's post; I am sorry to say, there is a lot of that going on around here. I am still shaking my head about it; having fun sharing the story with my friends, too.

Hope you all are enjoying the first weekend of Spring!

Have fun, take care.

Have a good weekend, too!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Strange Place Indeed

I mentioned in my last post about the different types of people I encounter on my job. It really must be 'the week' for that, or a sure sign of a bad moon rising. I also mentioned that things have been somewhat slow; I've been shifted from my normal installs to running 'troubles.'

I completed all my assigned work around 2PM this afternoon. After lunch they sent me to repair or replace a house box at the side of a disconnected account. I drove past the rural home, turned around and pulled just off the road across their wide driveway as I anticipated it shouldn't take that long. I put the flashers on; went about my business. It appeared no one was home.

I saw the exposed wires; the top of the 'old-style' box had been removed. It was going to take a completely new one; was going to take me longer than I thought. Some minutes after I began working a woman appeared on the nearby porch. She asked if she could help me. I apologized; told her I thought no one was home or I would have knocked, and that I was just replacing the box so it looked better and the wires would not be out and exposed. She was 'suspicious; asked if they would be billed. I said, 'Of course, not.' She said, okay and retreated to the house.

On one trip back from the truck I noticed that an older Mennonite woman was speaking with the younger woman at the door on the front porch. As I went about my business I feared she might be 'excommunicated' for getting Cable TV or Internet service. My work van is a driving bill-board.

At some point as I worked I was getting something from my van and dumped what was left and now warm in a container of iced tea onto the pavement beside my van. I finished up; it looked good and I drove away.

I drove back to the office and as I was stopping in the parking lot to drop off my personal stuff in my car I noticed one of the Company Jeeps rounding a corner ahead of me. As he pulled right up to my driver's side; I knew it was my boss. He had his window rolled down; I rolled down mine. He said, 'You'll never guess where I am going?' I asked where? He told me the address. I said, 'Ya know, I had a 'bad feeling' about that place.' It was that place where I replaced the house box.

Here's the story....

The Mennonite people had called the office. After I left there was a 'wet spot' on their pavement they feared would eat through the asphalt. I laughed as the boss told me; I noticed a gallon jug of water on the passenger seat of the Jeep. He told me he was on his way out there to wash it off so it didn't 'eat through their concrete.'

How funny is that?

I live in a very strange place, indeed.

Just a slice of my world.

Hope you all have a good night, a great weekend, too!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Contrasts of Local Culture

Things have been slow at my work, too. My job has shifted, somewhat, as I am doing more 'trouble calls' than 'installs.' Yesterday it was my pleasure to correct a problem for a very nice woman I will refer to only as 'Mrs. D.'

She greeted me nicely at the door and walked me into her finely-appointed living room in a very cool house to where the problem was located. I noticed the one wall was covered with very nice framed-and-matted photography; some from NYC. Our conversation began with talk about fun in Manhattan. She was delighted to learn that I was NOT from around here, either.

Needless to say, I loved it. It was one of those 'John-and-Lisa' moments; those people that I am somehow able to 'connect with' very well. Please forgive any job-related pun.

'Mr. D.' got home from walking the dog when I was working in the basement. He greeted me down there. I said, 'Sir, I had a real nice time talking with your wife.' He smiled and said, 'The first thing she told me about you was; he's NOT from around here, either.' lol

One of those 'KODAK-moments' from my job that help get me out of bed in the morning. Always great to meet cool people. I am lucky enough that for me it's one of the perks of my job. I had a very nice time with them. It was very nice to meet them.

Today, again I was running a lot of 'troubles.' One of them was for an internet connection problem, 'modem off-line.' I found the small home off a small alley in one of the small towns in our service area. The woman greeted me at the door and directed me towards the problem in her home.

We walked into a small bedroom and she apologized for any scent of cat urine. She advised me the cat had urinated on her daughter's bed and she was trying to deal with it. All I could smell was the strong flowery scent of some cleaning fluid.

She proceeded to tell me about the poor sick cat. She told me, 'Can you believe they want $160 at the vet to put the cat down?' I expressed some surprise. She went on, 'I called a friend of mine and he told me he'd do it.' I didn't want to ask. She continued, 'He told me he was drunk when I called him and his shot wasn't straight when he's drunk. He'd have to do it sometime at night so I have to call him sometime after dark when he's not drunk to take care of the cat.'

Unbelievable.

Welcome to the contrasts of my world; life in Amishland.

Hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. Things are looking green here.

Take care. Have fun.

'night

Saturday, March 14, 2009

'You can check-out anytime you like....'

My friend Jeff just returned home to Michigan after two weeks kicking back in Laguna Beach, California. He said the weather was great; the sunsets over the ocean were, too. I am sure it was an adjustment for him to return home in more ways than the climate.

I am very familiar with California. Between my ages of 14-20; four years were spent in California. I spent two years in high school there; later two years of college. There can be little doubt a good part of my spirit was formed there. I might live in Pennsylvania now, but if asked where I most-closely 'identify with;' I would probably quickly answer, 'California.'

Our family had been living in Nebraska; we had only been there for two years. My dad originally got 'orders' to take us to Grand Forks, North Dakota per his request for transfer. When he first told us there was a collective family 'gasp.' We were okay with Nebraska; North Dakota seemed to be a 'step back.' We had lived in the northern Virginia suburbs of DC before we headed to Nebraska. We all liked it in Alexandria, Virginia; tolerated Omaha. North Dakota?

I don't know whose arm he twisted, what connections he may have 'tweaked;' but, somehow dad got the 'orders' changed. Instead of North Dakota; we were headed to California! There was a collective family WOO HOO! Many thanks to dad!

That road trip was awesome. I was old enough to remember it very well. We headed west towards Scottsbluff, NE then took some road up through the western sandhills of Nebraska into South Dakota. We were on our way to see Mount Rushmore. Then into Wyoming on our way to Yellowstone; through Jackson Hole; and into and across Idaho. I was born in Boise. Mom and Dad wanted me to see what it was like.

We left Idaho across and through a small part of western Oregon; then into Nevada. We stopped for the night near Reno. We all really liked it. Mom and dad liked the slots. My sister and I liked all the lights.

We left Reno and headed west on I-80 into the Sierras. We exited at the 'Tahoe/Truckee' exit. The month was July. There was snow on nearby mountains as we passed the 'Welcome to Califonia/Golden State' sign. As we wound our way through the mountains and 'cleared' a pass a lake became visible surrounded by the snow-capped peaks. As a young teen I could only think, 'WOW.' This is NOT NEBRASKA. wink

It was incredibly beautiful; and not the 'California' I expected to find. I found the ocean; the beaches and the incredible sunset vistas later. My dad had orders to a cool base in the western foothills of the Sierras in northern California north of Sacramento; that's where we would settle for another two years.

The base was very cool. The 'flight-line' was down in the valley; the housing five miles away in the hills. The climate was mild at our house during the winter; yet we could drive 15 miles into the mountains 'behind' us and get to the 'snow line.' Our house was an hour and a half from stunningly beautiful Lake Tahoe; little more than two hours to San Francisco.

The first time I was ever in San Francisco was as a young teen travelling with my family from our home in the Sierra foothills. We were on our way to visit old family friends in, what was then a 'sleepy little town'south of SF named Sunnyvale. Funny that it became the center of a whole new universe.

I will never forget crossing the Bay Bridge from Oakland. The bridge is a steel-cantilever structure until it gets to Yerba Buena Island. The bi-level freeway passes into a tunnel. When you emerge from the tunnel onto the suspension portion of the bridge the skyline of San Francisco is RIGHT THERE, on the right. It really is one of America's finest scenes; one I will never forget.

I like California very much and believe strongly in the words of the song....

'You can check-out anytime you like....but you can never leave.'

Jeff knows what I mean; I'm sure many others do, too.

Hope all's well with everyone.

The sun's feeling like Spring here.

I hope where you are, too.

Friday, March 6, 2009

SUSQeureka





For those of us here in the northeast US it was a 'topsy-turvy' week with the weather, for sure. Everything was seasonal and calm until Monday morning. The storm formed in the southeast. Here it hit around 6:30 AM. All of a sudden there was SNOW. It was the light-fluffy kind but there was LOTS of it here. Much more than had been predicted.

The snowfall ushered in what can only be described as one 'brutal' blast of that Canadian air that can feel so refreshing in the Fall. It was cold, it was windy and down here we always blame Alberta. I don't know or care where it came from; IT WAS COLD.

I have been doing 'line maintenance' for the past couple weeks so I have hadn't had any contact with the public. I have been working out of a bucket-truck up-grading the 'main' lines. I was outside all week; all of my worktime.


The winds died down sometime Wednesday and the sun felt good. My face was probably sun-burned that afternoon with the rising sun reflected off the wind-drifted snow. The sun always belies the promise of Spring.

Spring sprung here today. The forecast was for mid-50's. The clouds broke; the sun came out and we hit a high in the mid-60's. I have a five-letter word for that...

FEVER...of the Spring variety, that is!

Thank God for the change of seasons, the promise of new green life, the rising sun and all that comes with it. That leads to another five-letter word...

CANOE

When I first moved to this area from California I hated it here. There was nothing to do. A few years later through a woman I knew at work I met a guy who took me out on the local river in his canoe.

The river opens up and is very wide nearby; it is very shallow, too. On this side there is a band of wooded islands; a couple that are barren, too. I loved it! Within a week I had purchased my first canoe. I wanted to be able to go out there again, for sure.

Tonight I pulled into the driveway and within ten minutes had the canoe 'racked-and-tied' on the car. The forecast for tomorrow is warm, too. I can't wait to get out to my island beach with the migrating Tundra swans and Canada geese. I'm hoping any ice from the brutal cold this week has melted.


If not, I guess I'll be playing 'Captain-of-the-the-Titanic' once again. wink

It's all good. I love it.


The water, the sun and the sand all got into my blood when my family lived at Cocoa Beach, Florida. Somehow, I found all that here. I drive ten minutes; paddle fifteen and I am on a private island beach. The sun sets over a wide expanse of water there. There is always an abundance of dried driftwood to burn on the beach. As an island in Amishland; it seems no-one cares. It really is pretty cool.

I live close to the Susquehanna River. I moved to this area from California. 'Eureka' is the state motto of California. It is Greek for 'I found it;' yelled by prospectors upon finding their 'mother lode' of gold. For me that is water, sun and sand that is closeby. Hence, SUSQeureka.

I found it!

SUSQeureka!

Hope everyone's got that spirit now, too.



Take care, have fun.

'night